I've been absent. For that I apologise. It's been a funny week. I go back to work on Wednesday and I'm really hoping to finish off vlog number 2, a packing and an empty flat/shit I've just moved vlog and then do a quick current flat vlog all before I go back and then return to normal service blog wise the week after. I might do more you tube at a later date if people are interested. What I wanted to write about today is how I've coped through all this while battling an interesting mixture of mental health problems.
I have a had depression, anxiety, ptsd and I also have had problems with eat disorders. Sadly, this is not unusual and there will be many people reading this that know exactly what I mean when I say, I'm not special. So many people go through what I've been through. Im not sharing this experience for attention. Im hoping I can help.
Today is a friday. Im hoping to post this as soon as I've finished typing. A write and publish job. This has been my schedule for the past two weeks.
Monday - Work (leave at 7:30, home by 6pm). Pack. Sleep.
Tuesday - Work (leave at 7:30, home by 6pm). Pack. Sleep.
Wednesday - Work (leave at 7:30, home by 6pm). Pack. Sleep.
Thursday - Work (leave at 7:30, home by 6pm). Pack. Sleep.
Friday - Work (leave at 7:30, home by 6pm). Drinks with friends. Sleep.
Saturday - Take car for new tyres. Pack. Sleep.
Sunday - Pack. Sleep.
Monday - Move. Unpack. Sleep.
Tuesday - Unpack. Buy food. Sleep.
Wednesday -Unpack, although half day to sleep/rest as was too sick.
Thursday - Leave at 8am, drive to old house (3 hours), clean house, drive home (2.5 hours).
Friday - Take Car for MOT. Unpack. Lunch. Write blog post. Breathe.
Sounds exhausting? A little bit. I thank god I don't have children or even a dog to walk. To add some more fun into the mix I got sick on the first wednesday. Im still sick. Not like hospital/life altering sick, but dry hacking cough/exhausted/headache/kill me type of sick.
To add more fun, I have anxiety. I don't know where I am. I get lost going to Tesco (not anymore, but I did the first time because the entrance is not clearly marked!). I spent an hour driving round Glasgow city centre because I couldn't find the correct motorway. I had a mini meltdown last night.
I could write 5 tips for anxiety but its a personal thing and not everything is going to help everyone. For some people driving in a city they don't know isn't possible, for me I can deal with that but then other things freak me out. Simpler things like not remembering where I put something because unpacking is hard. The dust is freaking me out and not having a working washing machine yet and laundry piling up. I can cope with the big things, its the details that break the camels back, that push me over the line from coping to not coping.
For me what has helped has been having to get on with it. Matt is in work, this is his second week in fact. Im on my own. I have to drive to the old house, I have to work out where to buy food. No one else is going to do it. But the good thing is that no one can really see me getting things wrong. Not knowing which lane to be in on the motorway or where the soup is in the supermarket.
Oh course Matt has been wonderful and has really looked after me in the evenings the way he has for years now. Its just interesting actually needing someone and finally letting someone.
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