As I sit on my sofa, four months since I last blogging I wonder if theres much of a point to it. I have most of my weekend to snap and type away but I also know this is the first time in those four months I've had the time to do it. If I blog now, does it make much difference? Will I be able to keep it up? I really dont know. I guess this post is a little catch up. A mind vomit. I have zero clue what I want to write and frankly I do get sick of writing "I'm back" posts and reading them on other blogs every six months. This is 100% not that post. I dont know if I'm back, back for good or what the content I'm going to create is going to be.

I think thats the problem I've had with blogging previously. My most successful stints have been rigid, scheduled and structured. My little space on the web should be creative and exactly what I want it to be in that moment. Although setting myself deadlines and targets works because Im making sure I blog it also stifles that creativity and puts unnecessary pressure on myself.

Heres the pity party bit: I already work long hours, have the worlds stupidest commute, gym three times a week, have all my family hours and hours away, deal with chronic health conditions, keep a clean, warm and well stocked home..and we dont even have human children (we have a cat but I think people keep getting offended when I say he's my baby) (he is). Why add on more stress to that?

I could give up, having never made it "big" and now no longer talking to any of my original blogging friends after such a long time away since my first attempt in the blogging world. But really I enjoy it. I love talking to people all over the world and using blogs as my source of inspiration and knowledge. I dont read magazines for beauty or style recommendations, I read blogs. I dont care what celebrity is peddling what shampoo, I read blogs. There is an honestly there (or there should be) that is unrivalled. I love reading about what my friends are doing, even if were not really friends and actually its a little big stalker-ish. I love getting to know people because of sharing experiences, either good or bad and knowing what people are passionate about. The world is broken. We're electing monsters and wondering why they keep smashing everything. Whats even more clear is that now is the time for honest accounts and opinions. Sadly you wont get them in most newspapers but you'll get them on blogs.

Blogs are and can be more than our favourite lipstick and more than just political ramblings. We are everything. We are vogue, question time & lonely planet all wrapped into one. We are Waterstones tops picks and Ebays 99p items from China. There is an honesty, a power and a brilliance in blogs. No where else can match that.

That is why I am still here, even if it is just in the small capacity that I am in now. One post a week or seven. Even if it lasts a week, a month or years to come.

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