Blogging & other

Recently Iv been more active on twitter and less active on my blog. I've struggled with that to write beyond 140 characters. Even then what I write and put out there for the world to read and judge seems ever so daunting. I'd love to be a really well established blogger but sometimes I struggle with where my voice is. Part of me wants to blog about important issues, writing in dept well thought out articles about issues that really matter but the other part of me knows that realistically If i want to regularly blog then beauty is quicker, easier and has a higher engagement rate. Another part of me wants to make you tube videos or vlog but lets face it, My life is far from the glamorous heights of trips to LA and photo shoots for books I didn't write. Does anyone want to see my average week these days? I work long hours and in the few hours I have in the evenings I go to gym and binge box sets with a pizza. So where does that leave me blog/vlog wise? Where do i fit if I'm not a model (5ft 1 and have less confidence in my body now than I did 4 years ago when I fashion blogged regularly), I'm no stunning beauty (No one wants to see make up looks on someone that isn't girl next door beautiful) and I don't have much time to write about the issues I really want consistently.

I go through points of hating my blog and every article on it. Stuck between wanting to compete by getting a new blog layout, spending a weekend writing to "re-launch" and also knowing at some point I'll have to not blog so i can sleep/eat/wash/do laundry. Constantly exhausted and currently having various health problems do I really want to put myself back out there and really really try my best when all around me are those hoping I'll fail.

The blogging "community" is one I've both loved and hated at times. I love many of the people I talk to and sometimes cant go longer than a few hours without a tweet to my faves and I've made genuine friends and lost some too. I've ridden the high of blog events, pr samples and I've turned my back on it, worked my way back in and then disappeared again. I've been on the wrong side of a controversial topic and suffered the abusive tweets and the forum hate. We're currently at a point where anything you do or say is judged, rightly or wrongly. Im struggling with the thought of going through all that work, all that effort to have varied success and to have every word picked apart as if I'm a journalist for a national newspaper.

I'm considering scaling back. Starting again. Getting a simple blog layout. Working out what topics to cover and writing on a monthly basis. That might not be the business plan for success but despite all my moaning and gripes I love writing and do want to make more time for it. So here I am, asking nicely, what topics people want to read, what interests them. How do I take the modest following I have built with fashion blogging and beauty posts into a new selection of topics. I don't really know but as I'm sat here in work bored out of my mind and riddled with anxiety I just thought I would word vomit my current thoughts into a post.

Honestly I'm at a point where I feel ultimately very lost and frankly rather a lone. I wish I could use the internet to discuss why and find some comfort but I simply cant for fear of who can read my posts and the repercussions that would have. Despite this know that I have a warm, loving home and home life. I am safe. But I am simply unhappy with other aspects of my life which for now I can not change. I am worried about both my mental and physical health. I am lost as to how to fix all of this. I don't know if blogging is the answer but not saying anything hasnt helped so far either.

I hope you're all well.

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1 comment

  1. I'm of absolutely no help here, because I like you, and I like the chats we have on every topic under the sun. Plus, I've never been one for seeing the same straightforward beauty reviews on every blog I read.

    Catch up once I am back from hols please.

    Lis / last year's girl x


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